Scotland has a fantastic reputation as a tourist destination, the dark rolling mountains, the crystal clear lochs and misty glens. Every year thousands of visitors flock to Scotland from America, Japan, Europe and um err Outer Space!
But strangely our little green backpackers don’t pour up the A9 to Inverness, stopping off for an overpriced coffee and a cashmere scarf at Brewer Falls, they don’t even take in some street theatre at the Edinburgh Fringe – no that’s just too ‘touristy’. No the alien elite head for the town of Bonnybridge.
Bonnybridge is a small town near to Falkirk with a population of around 6,000 – it could possibly be the most unremarkable town in central Scotland and yet the area, which is now referred to as ‘The Falkirk Triangle’ averages around 300 UFO sightings per year – this is more than anywhere else on the planet making this sleepy little notch on Scotland’s central belt the place to be seen if your transport of choice is saucer shape, you have a penchant for mutilating cows and have a distinctly greenish pallor.
Having passed through Bonnybridge I have to confess that I’m at a loss to see the attraction. It has a very nice public library (the science fiction section being particularly well stocked) The Antonine Wall and Forth & Clyde canal run nearby and there’s the usual smattering of commuter housing. But there’s no secret military installations (but then I guess if they were secret we wouldn’t know) No alien autopsy sites, in fact the perfect place for Zarg the merciless and his little Zargons to get away from all the stress of interplanetary domination.
But don’t worry because the local ‘cooncil’ have been on the case. Falkirk Councilor Billy (Fox Mulder) Buchanan has been helping to put Bonnybridge on the UFO spotters map, bringing the case of Bonnybridge in front of three prime ministers (probably four now) and the Queen. Heated debates have been held in the locality discussing possibilities that Bonnybridge was a gateway to another dimension, or that there may have been other spirits involved – the spirits in this case being along the lines of Buckfast tonic wine and the odd bottle of ‘mad dog’ or of course the possibility that there was nothing in it but it wasn’t harming the potential for less otherworldly tourists. I have even read a theory that the UFO activity is linked to the real Stone of Destiny and that the lights are guiding the righteous to its location hidden somewhere nearby.
So when we trim away the mis-identified aircraft, the weather balloons, the odd cloud formations and the 1974 Nissan Sunny with an oversized spoiler and a fat exhaust what is left?
Well there are a few that make it into the ‘Ecks Files’
In October 1994 three cleaners on their way to work said they saw five UFOs. When they got to work they told their manager what had happened. To his surprise a number of employees then came forward to confirm that they too had seen flashing lights and strange orange orbs glowing in the vicinity for the past week. Strange enough but the best known case has become part of UFO lore as the ‘Dechmont Law Encounter’.
Robert Taylor worked as a forester working for the Livingston Development Corporation. On the 9th November 1979 he traveled up to a plantation close to the M8 Motorway to inspect the site. As he walked up towards a clearing at around 10:30 am he saw a large spherical object with a gray metallic finish. The object appeared to be around 20 feet in diameter and 12 feet high. As Taylor approached the object it dropped towards the ground and two smaller spheres with protruding spikes (he described them as looking like old naval mines) appeared from the bottom and began to roll towards him. Taylor attempted to escape but the spheres caught his trousers – ripping them at the bottom and began to drag him back towards the larger object.
Taylor passed out for around 20 minutes – when he came too he heard a hissing sound and then said the UFO just vanished. He had to crawl nearly 100 yards to his pickup truck as the encounter had left him temporarily unable to walk. After reporting the incident the site was thoroughly investigated and several marks in the ground were detected in the clearing, which could not be explained.
Lothian & Border’s Police were baffled and since Taylor had shown signs of being attacked had to treat the case as assault. Thereby ensuring that the first recorded aliens to visit Scotland could go home with a criminal record. Despite several appeals the Aliens have not come forward – no doubt not fancying a short spell in the Bar-L.
So the next time you are driving along a deserted highway and you see lights hovering in front of you – don’t panic its just another spring break road trip from planet Zark lost on the way to Bonnybridge!